Cassie. 19. Leo. Vet tech. Equine enthusiast. Tattooed and pierced. Born and raised in Northern Vermont. Follow my other blog: jagermeistersjourney

I kind of slacked off…

But for good reasons, I promise! My journey to a better me (a more optimistic me) has been going incredibly well. Things that used to really get me down are just passing moments that don’t need to control my emotions any more. I feel like my relationship is getting stronger, I am doing better at work, and everything just feels a lot better - like I’m starting fresh with completely new eyes. Life just seems a lot less difficult when you’re happy and I’m really enjoying it. I can honestly say that I have not felt this good in a long time! I’ve even lost and kept off some weight - went down a pant size, too! I am so glad that I decided to make these changes in my life and I really want to express to anyone listening that it totally can be done. 

I used to cry multiple times a week and lose control of my emotions at the smallest of incidents, now I find myself thinking a lot more logically and not allowing things to get to me. I have been doing a great job at leaving work at work and focusing my energy in a positive direction. I truly feel like I’ve gotten my confidence back, and there is no better feeling other than knowing that I have everything I need - a fully supportive family, a boyfriend who is undoubtedly husband material, a horse that I adore but still challenges me, a job that I love, and a roof over my head. That being said, I am not settling by any means, just that I have everything I need to move forward in my life on a strong foundation.

And one more note that I think is important to say as a romantic, I was thinking the other day about how much I have realized I love Joe to a fault, I’d do just about anything to make him laugh (and damn do I love his genuine laugh). But I finally feel like I’m not settling, like there isn’t something else out there to be found and discovered that is better. This is the best, and this is one of the countless reasons I know I am truly in love with this man. I just think that is something important to distinguish how you may feel about someone - do you feel like you’re settling? I know I have felt like that in the past, even when I didn’t want to admit it, but being with Joe confirms that nagging inner voice, that feeling like there was more, like even though we could have made it together it just wasn’t right. Everything about Joe is right - I cannot ever see myself looking at him and thinking that I have settled for him. I can only hope that one day I can look at him and think about how I have happily settled with him. All of my feel good vibes have really focused in on my relationship as I really get back to falling in love with him every morning. But those are my words of relationship advice (ish?) for this week then!

I’m thinking this will be more of a weekly thing since I’m kind of boring day to day… Oh! And tomorrow is my birthday. I completely forgot about that. But anyways - I will do this again next Wednesday! 

Self Therapy

I was in such a bad mood the other day, and I took it out on my boyfriend (who has been nothing short of wonderful.) It ended in myself crying and him yelling. I went for a drive to clear my head and took a break to think about what had happened. I had no right to act the way I did, even if he disagrees. I had a revelation, though, and realized that I need to be consciously working on making myself a more positive person.

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